Ye of little faith

I recently read The Spiral Staircase by Karen Armstrong. I have known about this author for some time because of my general interest in the study of religion, but for one reason or another I have never read any of her books. I fully intend to now, since I was captivated by her writing style and perspective in this volume of memoir.

The book details the years from 1969 to the present, basically the 35 years it took her to recover from her 7 years in the convent. I won't go into the whole story here, since she tells it much better than I ever could, but her story is very compelling. Throughout the book, she is immersed in academic scholarship, the social changes that were occurring in the late 1960s-early 1970s, and issues of her own faith. Eventually she also writes about her discovery of other religions which, perhaps not surprisingly, she had absolutely no experience of during her immersion in Catholicism, and which surprised and delighted her. Since 2001 she has been increasingly involved in writing and lecturing about Islam, attempting to enlighten a largely ignorant public about the spiritual customs of Islam, which have become obscured (or never were available) by the political extremism of Islamic nations.

I definitely have an interest in this latter issue, but what originally grabbed me about this book was something she mentions quite late in the narrative, which was something that struck her about the difference between Judaism and Christianity (or perhaps I should specify Catholicism), when she begins to learn about Judaism. I probably will not do it justice here but the basic principle was that Judaism is a religion about good and right actions, without a lot of theology and doctrine, whereas Catholicism is all about the doctrine and not so much about the actions. In theory it is, since there's all that stuff about "love thy neighbour" and "turn the other cheek" and stuff, but the history and reality of Christianity is just the opposite. At least, that was Karen Armstrong's experience. Actually one thing that stayed with me throughout the reading of this book was something she said about convent life early on. She said that friendly relationships between the girls were discouraged, because they needed to save all their love for God. This struck me as so very wrong, like, how could anyone be devoted to a God that insisted that all love must be devoted to him. It made me really angry and sad.

So where is all this going. Well, I guess her later insights into the differences between the Christian life and the Jewish life made me kind of proud to identify as a Jew, even though I don't really practice a "Jewish" way of life. In fact, I felt a little sad that I'd kind of missed out on being able to have a Jewish life. Then I started wondering whether going to temple and having a marrow-deep understanding of the rituals and celebrations of Judaism really defined a Jew. After all, what Karen Armstrong identified as a Jewish way of life doesn't necessarily have to depend on those observances. It's how you conduct yourself through your daily life and interact with your fellow humans.

Which all inspired me to be a better person and put as much positive energy into the world as I could, in the hopes that it would help others feel better and be more positive. Ultimately that is probably a naive hope, and the cynical side of me, the devil on my shoulder I suppose, is whispering in my ear even now that I shouldn't waste a bunch of energy on a hopeless project like that because I'll just wind up frustrated and more sad. I think I'll have to work on it though, because even if the only person who feels better is me, it will be a worthwhile exercise.

response to Bella and school for thought

inspired by Bella, here is a rant about our local public school system and other related things.

The funding of public schools, in Vancouver School District anyway, is made up of several factors. One of them is neighbourhood property values and one of them is school population and I don't know what else there is. Many neighbourhoods, particularly on the East side, where Bella and I grew up and continue to live, do consist primarily of homes that are split up into rental suites, many of which house low- or moderate-income people. So it is absolutely true that the funding of schools is based on an inaccurate picture of the people who live in the neighbourhood, since the homeowners themselves, who pay the taxes and whose incomes are presumed to represent the neighbourhood, tend not to live there.

I'm sure there is a fairly good proportion of houses that are occupied by owners too mind you, since lots of times you have a house that has 2 suites in it but members of the same extended family live in the whole house.

Okay and then writing about this reminded me of something that is happening in my neighbourhood that I look on with some scorn. Rightly or wrongly, that is my reaction to this phenomenon. Namely, the building of high-end townhouses on land that was once zoned semi-industrial. So it's not like they tore down low-income housing in order to build it, but it's still kind of wacky to me. I mean, I understand the concept of gentrification, but I don't buy the line the developers use to ingratiate themselves into the existing community.

There is one development (which seems to be stalled) that did its community presentation, city-permit plan dealie at J's school last year. They went on and on about how all these new townhouses will attract all these great families to the neighbourhood. Well, that's great, but what about the families who already live in the neighbourhood? I am a single parent and I cannot afford to buy a townhouse for $300,000+ !! I can't even afford to rent that place, assuming it will be bought by an aforementioned absentee landlord type!

There is another development that is steaming ahead, also $300,000+ townhouses, and apparently a representative of the development is coming to speak to our Parent Advisory Council meeting next week. On the one hand I'm very curious to see what they have to say about how they see themselves "contributing" to the neighbourhood (perhaps taking a big ugly empty lot and transforming it into expensive "family" housing is enough), and on the other hand I have to stop myself from concocting cynical, accusatory questions to throw at them and see how they handle it. Perhaps I'll report back here as to whether the angel or the devil prevails.

Getting back to Bella's question and point about neighbourhood public school funding, these two developments will significantly bump up the average value of property in the neighbourhood (since they are taking over lots that had been unoccupied), while contributing, at the absolute maximum, 10% of the children who attend the local school. That's assuming that ALL of the people who move into these 30-40 units of housing have school-age children. Presumably, those kids will be in the privileged minority, even assuming they attend our school, which is not one of the French Immersion schools and which has as its neighbourhood "competition" a "magnet" type school with a specialized program. Meanwhile, the 95% of 600 kids who eat hot lunches, and the 15% of 600 kids who come to school without winter coats or breakfast, see their programs cut and their chances dwindle.

Despite all those challenges, however, our school has done great things. It has taken a population that is about 85% ESL and given all those kids a sense of pride and inclusion, a feeling of safety and fun. It has devoted staff that take their own time and money to see that all the kids have something a little extra in their school experience. I sincerely hope that schools like ours offer the kind of environment that people like Bella are attracted to, because I would feel pretty damn good if she was one of my daughter's teachers. :)

Resolution

Well, I generally do not make resolutions in January because I don't keep them. I think the dead of winter is a dumb time to commit to new projects because my instinct is to curl up in bed and try to stay warm. And with only 1/3 of the day actually being DAY, it's hard to stay motivated.

But, I also needed a definitive starting point for those typical new-year activities that I've been meaning to get to, namely getting my body and mind together, and I guess after Christmas is over is as good a time as any to get those projects underway. My resolutions are almost always the same. Here is a list of them and a week-in update.

1) Diet and Exercise. yeah, yeah, I know it's a cliche. But really, I've been trying to get this happening for a while now. I did Atkins (or a modified-Atkins, low-carb type regimen) for about 6 months, oh jeez I guess it was 2.5 or 3 years ago now. Yikes. I think I was about 30-40 lbs overweight at that time, and I managed to lose 20 in 6 months. I thought that was pretty good. But one thing led to another and I eventually gained most of it back. Since then I've hovered at the same weight and I still think it's 25-35 lbs too much. So I've been thinking about how to get that off. Thanks to a generous friend, I have free access to the weightwatchers site, and I've spent the last week or so investigating that and figuring out whether I can stick to it. I think I can, because it's not too far off what I've been doing. My nemesis is sugar, and if I can lay off the sweet treats, I'm halfway there.

Between being conscious and as observant as possible of the WW regimen, and making a stupendous effort not to indulge my sweet tooth, I've already, somehow, kicked 5lbs. I know it's common to see a rapid loss at the beginning of a program, and I fully expect to seesaw quite a bit, but I gotta tellya, seeing that needle falling back really gave my motivation a boost. I also plan to swim twice a week and do morning strength exercises, concentrating on 3 problem areas, three times a week. I'm being realistic and giving myself weekends off (exercise, not diet) since I know I won't stick to any weekend exercise program.

2) Journal, Blog, Course. These three things all fall into the same category because they are all about me being motivated to write and keep up with everything. So far, this has been slow going.

I've barely started my 2005 journal so I'm already falling behind in that. I haven't even done my 2004 wrap-up which is worrisome because the longer I leave it the less motivated I am to do it. I will, I WILL! I WANT to!

While I was off on the timeline a little bit (AGAIN!) in my course, I managed to get some good study time in and get my first paper of the new year in on time. The draft is very very rough, but I do have almost 2 weeks to revise it before I hand in the final thing. And I've already looked ahead to the next assignment and have begun searching out the research materials I'm going to need for it. I consider this a good beginning.

And since this is the first real entry in my blog of the new year, I guess I'm a little off on this one also. Although I don't expect to write in here very often so there's not as much pressure. I've also felt a little self-conscious about the quality of things I write about here. I've been told I'm a good writer and I think technically, I am, but I just don't think I have the most interesting content. It really is more of a journal than anything, writing about my boring life rather than the things I'm interested in or the cultural things I'm engaged in. Lots of my blogging friends write interesting things about books or music or movies, and I dunno. I just don't have anything to say about any of those things. So I feel boring. But, here I am, throwing the details of my life out there for all to see anyway. My next entry will be "Am I a Writer?" because I still don't really know.

Well that's it, and I think that's really enough. One thing I've learned about goals, is I need to keep them simple and easy, and FEW, or else I get paralyzed and don't accomplish ANYthing. If I have 2 things to work on, it's easy enough to fit them in. If I try to do 5 or 12 or 74 things, then I watch more tv and read more books and waste more time on the computer. Oh, the irony.

I probably shouldn't write while I'm PMSing

so I won't. Just a few words to welcome 2005 and mention a couple things that are causing preoccupation to my brain.

snow.

car shopping.

exercise.

assignment due monday.

Film at Eleven.