home for the holidays
it's funny, but even though I've never lived in Milwaukee, I think of it as "home." Not all the time, just when I'm about to go there for a family visit. I always think to myself, "I'm going home for a visit," even though home is here and never has been anywhere else.
Home is where the heart is? I have the greatest amount of love and affection for this place and these people, not that place and those people. I love them like family, but they also drive me crazy. But I love them.
When I do go to Milwaukee for a visit, I roll my eyes and complain about my family, how their values are so different from mine, how they talk over you and never listen to you, and all the other little things about them that bug me. But, when it comes down to it, they are my people.
Lately I've been feeling like I'm in a bit of a jam, and while I feel reluctant to ask for help unless things get really really dire, even from the people who I know will help me, who help me without me even having to ask, I know that if I had no other recourse, my family would help me. At least, I think so. I've never asked, so I really don't know. I just believe that, despite their little annoying quirks, they are my family, and they are good people, and they would help me if I needed it and if they could.
But, they are more my last resort than my first one. Aside from family visits pretty much every year when we were kids, my sister and I were always a bit apart from the family. Over the past ten years I might have only made half a dozen visits there. And yet, everything remains the same and I feel comfortable stepping into that world just as if I were part of it every day. It's like a part of me, usually dormant, awakens when I'm in the presence of my family.
Home is where the heart is? I have the greatest amount of love and affection for this place and these people, not that place and those people. I love them like family, but they also drive me crazy. But I love them.
When I do go to Milwaukee for a visit, I roll my eyes and complain about my family, how their values are so different from mine, how they talk over you and never listen to you, and all the other little things about them that bug me. But, when it comes down to it, they are my people.
Lately I've been feeling like I'm in a bit of a jam, and while I feel reluctant to ask for help unless things get really really dire, even from the people who I know will help me, who help me without me even having to ask, I know that if I had no other recourse, my family would help me. At least, I think so. I've never asked, so I really don't know. I just believe that, despite their little annoying quirks, they are my family, and they are good people, and they would help me if I needed it and if they could.
But, they are more my last resort than my first one. Aside from family visits pretty much every year when we were kids, my sister and I were always a bit apart from the family. Over the past ten years I might have only made half a dozen visits there. And yet, everything remains the same and I feel comfortable stepping into that world just as if I were part of it every day. It's like a part of me, usually dormant, awakens when I'm in the presence of my family.
posted by infobabe | 4:08 p.m.
5 Comments:
I lurve you like family. Except I like you better.
when i was in school..i was so happy to be away from home and family...but i used to visit on weekends..and just sleep for hours..i mean, not like how i nap now...i mean dead sleep...and i could never figure out why.
i later realized it was the one place i felt safe, i think, surrounded by my family.
bella: see, you are part of the family I consider not just family, but community, which for me is so much more important. Like, if ever I was to marry again, I would be sadder if YOU did not come than if any of my blood relatives did not come.
yikes: a big part of me did just want to take these 5 days and stay home.
darth: so true!! I think that's really it. I can just totally be myself (well okay mostly) and if that means napping on the couch while the wimminfolk bustle in the kitchen, then that's what I'm comfortable doing. Hmm, in fact that's what I DID do! :P
Are you back or what?
hey there..I really enjoy your writing. Wonderful. Fun to read. Easy to dance to!
Post a Comment
<< Home