fear and change
well. I am a bit paralyzed by fear because of impending change, and I feel the need to "talk it out."
It's interesting that I'm feeling this way on my daughter's behalf, when a) she seems quite calm and even kind of excited, and b) I'm such a change addict when it comes to my own life, particularly jobs and dwellings. But.
so if you read the last post, you'll know that we've been working for some time toward providing my daughter with a more enriching, more appropriate, more satisfying academic environment, and in so doing also improve her social surroundings. This has been in the works for some time, and I've been chomping at the bit to keep the process in motion, and to see results.
Now, it seems, all our efforts are bearing fruit, as a 2-day visit to the gifted classroom has been successful, it seems that she will be offered a spot, and she is happy with her choice and the changes that accompany it.
but I, suddenly, am feeling very very very anxious about the changes myself! The logical (very tiny, it feels like) part of my brain is reassuring the emotionally charged (very much larger) part that I am just projecting because I lack confidence in my own ability to establish myself in a community. But that emotional side is thinking about all the wonderful people and relationships we've built up at our school, and worrying about what will happen when we leave it all behind.
Let's see what's worrying me:
1) I won't be able to be an advocate for my child among people I don't know and who don't know her.
2) She will lose her friends and be a stranger in a strange land when she enters high school.
3) ...
Okay that's all I can think of right now. But they're big, aren't they?
Aren't they?
Oh all right. I know. It will be fine. She will be happy and having the kind of education I always dreamed she should and never dreamed she could have. I will be able to procure the attentions and benefits she deserves because, well, because I'm her mom and that's what I do. And she has her dad's gift for making a niche for herself and going along through her life with confidence.
Phew. I feel better.
It's interesting that I'm feeling this way on my daughter's behalf, when a) she seems quite calm and even kind of excited, and b) I'm such a change addict when it comes to my own life, particularly jobs and dwellings. But.
so if you read the last post, you'll know that we've been working for some time toward providing my daughter with a more enriching, more appropriate, more satisfying academic environment, and in so doing also improve her social surroundings. This has been in the works for some time, and I've been chomping at the bit to keep the process in motion, and to see results.
Now, it seems, all our efforts are bearing fruit, as a 2-day visit to the gifted classroom has been successful, it seems that she will be offered a spot, and she is happy with her choice and the changes that accompany it.
but I, suddenly, am feeling very very very anxious about the changes myself! The logical (very tiny, it feels like) part of my brain is reassuring the emotionally charged (very much larger) part that I am just projecting because I lack confidence in my own ability to establish myself in a community. But that emotional side is thinking about all the wonderful people and relationships we've built up at our school, and worrying about what will happen when we leave it all behind.
Let's see what's worrying me:
1) I won't be able to be an advocate for my child among people I don't know and who don't know her.
2) She will lose her friends and be a stranger in a strange land when she enters high school.
3) ...
Okay that's all I can think of right now. But they're big, aren't they?
Aren't they?
Oh all right. I know. It will be fine. She will be happy and having the kind of education I always dreamed she should and never dreamed she could have. I will be able to procure the attentions and benefits she deserves because, well, because I'm her mom and that's what I do. And she has her dad's gift for making a niche for herself and going along through her life with confidence.
Phew. I feel better.
posted by infobabe | 9:24 a.m.
1 Comments:
congratulations to infokid!
she will blossom in that environment, i'm sure-both socially and intellectually :) kids never cease to surprise us!
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